Love Is Painful
by blue dream
Summary: A short story from Duo and Trowa's pov on Heero's attempt of suicide. R&R plz! ^^


Love is Painful  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters in this story. Please don't sue me!! I own nothing (truthfully)  
  
Author's commets: I have no idea why I wrote this Â¬_Â¬, anywaz hopefully it's not that bad. There's still lots of grammar, punctuation and spelling errors, so forgive me! ^^''' Review! review! please with cherry on top??  
  
--Duo--  
  
Blood. It was the very first thing that entered my eyes. Just him lying in a pool of his own crimson blood. Eyes glazed, pale skin, body unmoving. His face was so cold, like always. No tears, no pain. Not even a frown. The sight was blinding and very painful. I think I screamed on top of my lungs.  
  
Quatre was the first to rush in with his little bunny pyjamas still on. I would've teased him if Heero wasn't lying on the floor. A thud followed, Quatre must have fainted. I wish I could faint and wake up to find this just another nightmare, but I can't.  
  
Wufei was the second to come running in; he almost tripped over Quatre. I heard him cursing loudly.  
  
Trowa was the most calm one. It was almost as if he was expecting something like this from Heero. Or it could just be that he had a much better mask. Either way, he went to check Heero's pulse. I'm not sure but I think he dialed for an ambulance.  
  
My eyesight was failing because of tears and my head was swarming. Everything that happened afterwards was like a badly shot movie. All I know is that we ended up on a hard bench in the hospital waiting for dreaded news.  
  
  
  
-- Trowa --  
  
I heard Duo scream from down the hall. I checked my clock out of habit, 1:30 am in the morning. Grunting, I eased out of bed, despite of my body's protests.  
  
What I saw was a very peculiar sight. Duo was uncharacteristically silent, Quatre was face down on the floor and Wufei was cursing.  
  
Then my eyes rested on someone in the middle of the room. My breath caught in my throat; it was Heero. His blood was everywhere. My mask of indifference snapped on due to reflex. I walked towards him and felt for his pulse. It was very faint, but enough to tell me that he's not dead yet.  
  
I grabbed a phone and called an ambulance, it arrived a few minutes later. They took Heero away, strapped to a bed.  
  
I haven't felt so much pain in a long time, ever since the war to be precise. I think I'm the only one who knew a little about why Heero did this. He opened up to me out of all the people.  
  
I picked up Quatre gently and put him in the back seat of one of his cars. Wufei followed me and sat in the back with Quatre. Duo was shocked, he didn't seem to notice that Heero was already gone. I guided him to the car.  
  
We arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later. That's when Quatre woke up but he was still a little confused. I led them to the room a nurse just pointed to. Room 444. Didn't someone once tell me that 4 was an unlucky number? We sat on the bench outside of the door.  
  
Suddenly, I realised that I didn't know why Heero did this. Just a few weeks ago he told me that he got his own apartment and a new job; he seemed quite happy. I wonder if it was murder. It could be possible.  
  
I started remembering my conversations with Heero when my mind paused on one in particular.  
  
~~flashback~~  
  
I looked at Heero, he seemed different. Life must've changed him for the better.  
  
"Trowa." He gently called out my name.  
  
My eyes met his cobalt ones. I looked at him expenctantly.  
  
"I have a favor to ask you." He said in a voice barely above a whisper.  
  
I felt slightly amused, the perfect soldier would never ask anyone a favor like this during the war.  
  
I nodded once, waiting for him to speak again.  
  
He paused, searching for words.  
  
"If... if I ever die by any means... could you... go to my room and look in a little box under my bed?" His eyes were almost pleading.  
  
I nod again, this time confused at such request.  
  
He sighed in relief.  
  
"Thanks, Trowa."  
  
~~end of flashback~~  
  
His bed. The box. I was torn between going to his apartment and searching under his bed and staying with my confused teamates waiting for news.  
  
Finally, I decided to stay. Heero could still survive. The doctor came out 3 hours later. We all looked at him with different emotions.  
  
"Are you four the family of the boy?" Nobody said anything. Duo was still in shock, Quatre a little dazed and Wufei didn't know what to say. To avoid further questions I nodded.  
  
"I'm afraid he's not going to make it."  
  
His words caused an immediate impact. Duo snapped out of his shock; his eyes wide. Wufei and Quatre stared at the doctor.  
  
"Can we at least see him?" I asked slowly.  
  
The doctor frowned; after a few minutes he finally agreed. Duo ran into the room and we followed more slowly.  
  
--Duo--  
  
The doctor said he was not going to make it. I felt my heart break into a million pieces.  
  
Trowa asked him if we could see Heero. The doctor agreed. I ran in and paused. Heero was lying on the bed, face as white as the sheet beneath him. His cobalt eyes closed. His arms were covered with tubes of all kinds. The sight made me sick, I felt like running out of there as fast as possible, but instead I stayed, to watch him die. How ironic.  
  
I knelt besides him and held his cold hands. I whispered the words I never dared to say when he was conscious, "Aishiteru Heero." I didn't get to see him die because I blacked out afterwards. Exhaustion got the better of me.  
  
--Trowa--  
  
Duo fainted beside Heero's bed. We stayed a while and left, each mourning Heero's death in a different way.  
  
I went to Heero's apartment and searched for the box. I found it under the bed. Inside I found a letter addressed to me.  
  
I read over it many times afterwards. Heero said he could never love Relena or Duo or anyone for that matter. He said he had no heart. I knew this was not true, but I'll never get the chance to tell him that.  
  
I showed the letter to the others, to help them get over the pain. Duo took Heero's death the hardest; he asked me if he could keep the letter. I let him, I think the thought of Heero knowing his love comforted him.  
  
A year later I received a postcard. There was no name, just three sentences.  
  
"Thanks Trowa, for everything. P.S. I am the perfect soldier after all. Don't tell the others."  
  
I was so shocked that I stood numbed for a good few minutes before realizing that Heero was indeed still alive. How he survived I don't know but like he said, he was the perfect soldier. I didn't tell the others, but I felt it was unfair to keep it from them.  
  
Duo came to drive me to our yearly reunion; it was also a time to visit Heero's grave. Usually Quatre came to take me, but I guess he was busy. Duo drove me home after the reunion. He asked me if Heero was still alive. I was surprised but shook my head. He laughed and said that my mask was getting easier to read. He asked again in a serious tone. I couldn't keep it from him, from someone who loved Heero so much. I nodded. He didn't react at all, just left me a sentence that proved right many times afterwards.  
  
"You know what Tro-man? Love is so very painful; it hurts like hell."  
  
~~OWARI~~ 


End file.
